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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Calm Before the Storm

Three blogs before I felt that I was Ready to Move off the Plateau, but I realized that I was spiralling into a depression. Yes, even Goddesses are plagued with depressions.
I knew that something wasn't right with my mood...before the summer, even. But, I didn't want to increase my antidepressants again. I have been plagued by depression for years. Sometimes I need to increase my meds and sometimes I'm to decrease my meds. When I had my stroke, I spiralled into depression and increased my meds.
1.5 years (Feb 2010), I felt ready to decrease my meds. At first, things were okay. Other than the anxiety that I was having when I decreased my meds. The anxiety, I thought I could manage with relaxing breathing and exercise...wrong.
When I felt low, I thought it was just a low day. But, two weeks ago. I felt hopeless...crying when I shouldn't be, grieving my 'old' life, feeling hopeless for my 'new' life. Can I do my old job? What is my 'new' life? What do I want in my new life? What do I want when I grow up? Stress, stress, stress....
AND, I wasn't exercising, walking and didn't want to exercise. I was tired, tired, tired, tired.
Well, I don't know what my 'new' life looks like, but I feel better...somewhat.
Care for post-stroke persons:
- listen to your body
- care for body...give it good food and water, get rested, exercised routinely
- care for your mental health...people who had a stroke are predisposed to depressions (30%)

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